Regretfully Hilarious
Just kidding. I regret nothing, not even walking in on my dad going to the bathroom. And especially not giving birth to Chuck Norris.
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But seriously, man. I hate that I can’t be really happy and content and satisfied with my life without having to worry about what’s going to completely screw it all up in five minutes. Even more than that, I hate when I forget to worry about what’s going to screw it up, so that when it does happen, I’m completely blindsided.
Screw you and screw you and I don’t even want this job so if you want to fire me please just spare us all and do it. I’ve never been a fan of nepotism anyway, and I’m not going to read your stupid life-changing book because I read the first chapter and the writing was worse than a kindergardeners.
Shove that up your vagina.
